I LOVE YOU(when the reality sets in)

 Sola Adams

Sola Adams is a serious minded Christian, a devoted lover of God full of the zeal of God's kingdom. Sola is dark in complexion, tall and handsome looking young man, a spirit filled tongue speaking and miracle working brother.

He was a civil Engineer working in a good company in the high brew of Lagos in Nigeria. He has been attending Christ the Light International church for a couple years, where he had grown to become th hie head of the technical department of the church. This was surely as a result of consistent commitment and diligence.

Bro Sola was at this point in time an "unengaged" bachelor but was definitely believing God to give to him his helper and companion that they will both go through life together fufilling their dreams and vision. But in the midst of his waiting and trusting he made sure he maintained a joyous and peaceful countenance. He is a true example of a Christian bubbling with the joy of salvation.

On a particular Sunday ,Sola took cognizance of a new sister in the ushering department, her Courtsey when ushering people into the church and to their sits was what really caught his attention on this Sunday whereby he came late for church service, so as a result he couldn't serve in the capacity he normally did but sat down amidst the congregation.

What is her name? he was thinking through out the time of the singing of hymns, only to quickly snap out of the thought and sang out with a loud voice the last stanza of the hymn "blessed assurance". During the collection of the offering he noticed her smiling to all as she passed the offering basket. Sola thought again to himself, this lady is beautiful and I can see she is filled with joy. Shola stretched out his neck to check her finger to see if she had any ring on it, he heaved with a sigh  of contentment when he realized there was no ring on her finger. Hmmm..."thank God" he said buy quickly cuts in on himself and said "Sola get a grip of yourself, what are you thanking God for?".

He then tried to concentrate on the rest of the service but on two occasions during the course of the service: he still thought of her....maybe she's even engaged.....or maybe she's not.

The sermon on that participate Sunday dwelt on Psalms 37:4 which came with the topic; 'Delighting in God gives you your desire' . The service ended as early as usual and everyone got on their way home except for the workers that needed to wait behind for a brief meeting with the Pastor.

THE ENQUIRY...

The workers meeting was as only prayers and some corrections on how their services to God could be more effective. Bro Shola walked up to Johnson 'Jay' has been a friend and a brother to Sola for a while, he was the teacher of the intending workers of the church. Jay my guy what's up Sola spoke : I can see you recruited a new set of workers into the work force. Jay replied they are actually three of them, one lady in the ushering department and the two men as children teachers and even those guys didn't come today except the lady he said, clearing his throat in a sarcastic way and looking at Sola playfully :Guy forget that thing"hit the nail in the head" and stop beating around the bush. Sola smiled at Jay and said: over smartness is worrying you abi? Anyway that sister in the usher I just want to know her name. Ehn Ehn Jay replied  ok ooo her name is Amaka , really Shola responded. Jay tapped Sola on his back playfully and said: if you want to know her name simply walk up to her and ask her ...it's not that difficult now, he laughed as he walked away leaving Sola feeling a little bit a look but he has come to Know his friend to be a naughty and playful....

Sola got home that afternoon , took a warm bath, ate his lunch and took a short but refreshing nap. He woke up around 4:00pm to have his quite time with God. Sola's way of communicating with God is quite unconventional as he does his praying as if He can see God physically :

Good evening Dad, thank you for today sir. Yes Dad service was great. Am sorry I got distracted and drifted in thought at sometimes...

But you know why dad...

Who is she?

You know have been seeking on marital settlement for sometimes now...

Could she be the one?

I can't lie Dad am attracted to her...

Sure I know beauty is vain

But am just like you Dad(all together lovely)

Lord what do you think?

Am sorry every of my discussion with you today is centred on her, but standing on your word in 1Peter5:7 it's a sort of burden Lord, help me figure it out...in Jesus name I have asked. Thank you Lord because you know me and care so much about me ...I love you Dad...hope to hear from you soon as you please. Thank you Lord in Jesus name I pray.

CONTINOUS AND MORE DILIGENT SERVICE....

Sola continued in his committed service to God...As tight as his schedule was, he hardly missed the Bible study service on Tuesdays and prayer program on Thursdays. He kept increasing in his career knowledge and spiritual intelligence. He read books on marriages, fatherhood and on being a Christian husband. He read books on communication in Christian relationship, intimacy in marriage. He kept reading and growing ...six months rolled in as he kept observing and asking God about Amaka.

SHE WASN'T AMAKA!!!

After sis months of praying and seeking the face of God concerning this lady in the ushering department he eventually add this unusual peace that came with the audacity to make a move to approach sister Amaka.

Brother Sola's dressing on this actual Sunday was full  ammour kind he was wearing a three-piece suit neatly shaved as usual as he approached her he kept saying to himself I carry Grace that can never be disgraced,I'm a miracle that can not experience ridicle. 

He went to the ushering room after the service and ushers were quite much in the room largely female, he broke the silence and said please who is sister Amaka and everyone looked at themselves in amazement. The supposed  SisterbAmaka was the one that broke the silence and said politely that there is no sister Amaka here, for those short moment he  was already strangling Jay  in his mind why did he have to lie to me? oh see the embarrassment he sighed.

He however summoned courage and as a smart and sharp guy he responded to this sister's words thank you dear, I believe is the form of a misconception, you are actually the one I'm looking for.  

Me she said surprised, my name is Abimbola. Please may I see you for a few minutes when you're through? all right she said I will join you in a bit. He left the ushering office a bit embarrassed but kept assuring himself that all was well. Abimbola came out within the space of five minutes and she walked towards where he was seated and joined him, he quickly got up from the chair and helped her to adjust one of the chairs to sit down.

 I'm sorry to take your time my name is only one in OluwaniShola Johnson I believe you must have been seeing me around I'm in the technical department of the church and I will really love to know you better she's smiled and said was that a stunt or what ?where did you get that name Amaka from?

Shola smiled and apologized.

They got talking and minutes rolled into an hour plus before Abimbola checked her wrist watch and realized how far the time had gone. I have to leave she said to Sola, and Sola asked to drop her off but she declined politely but they both exchanged their phone numbers.

AMAKA!!!

Abimbola smiled to herself on many occasions before she got home. Guys a funny she sighed, different forms of  strategies all in the name to woo a lady. But is seemed kind of difference and looks like someone I have met before. I kind of like him though, he is funny, he is funny and fun to be with, for me not to have known how an hour rolled by , He definitely got the charm, but I'm aware charm is deceitful.

Hmmm Amaka, what is even the meaning of that name? She quickly went through the search engine on her phone and saw there it's an igbo name in full Chiamaka which mean God is good.

She had her quiet time with God when she had rested a bit and while reading the Bible she stumbled on the verse in the book of Proverbs : *He who finds a wife has found a good thing* . She said to herself this is the third time this scripture is coming to me this week, Lord what are you saying she enquired of the Lord, I know am a good thing ..I just feel this scripture should be going to my would be husband and not me. Though am matured and ready for marriage but father I have learnt to trust you and wait for your timing because that's where true beauty lies. 

I rest in you Lord guide me in all I do. I pray for Oluwanishola Johnson he has to be your son because I believe like attracts like I pray for Jesus to be with him as she concluded her prayers on a note of Thanksgiving.

THE PLACE OF COUNSEL.

(In the multitude of counsel abideth safety)

Sola and Abimbola add eventually sought the face of God sword elderly and spiritual council on the course of the relationship. 

Then ShoIa walked up to talk with Pastor Anderson  that God had answered his prayers and that he was sure of God's hand being involved in the new decision is about to take with Abimbola. 

The Pastor was initially not so pleased with shola, he spoke to shola as he said, you children of nowadays things are not done this way you don't go to a sister straight to profess your love and intention to her, You tell it to your pastor and your pastor also prayerfully seeks the face of God and call the sister...shola playfully cuts in and said Daddy sure that one is old school oo, I know you've taught us spiritual independence we've been  brought up to hear God for ourselves remember Romans 8:14 is very real in our lives so I don't see any need for the rigmarole sir he smiled  because we acknowledge the fact that as an elder in the institution and as our spiritual head and we had to inform you and acknowledge you and seek your counsel so as not to derail on the journey.

True...Pst Anderson concurred...truly from the mouth of babes and suckling the Lord has ordained strength indeed. Both of you should see me in my office next week unfailingly so as to commence your intending couples class. God bless you my son...he prayed For Sola and they both departed.

COURTING....(It can be exciting and yet void of sin)

Sola and Abimbola  became so fond of themselves, they called themselves first thing in the morning prayed together, do some online Bible study together. they've prayerfully made plans towards their soon future. They made discussions as such, I think two children will be fine they both concluded picked names for their children discussed on the quality of education they wanted for their children ,discuss on having a joint account and every detail that was necessary  in their marriage, they talked about health conditions they went through some test knowing their status HIV wise, blood group, genotype,rhesus factor and as they were medically counselled,they went through all necessary health test and found out that truly that they were good to go. They picked a day of the week to see their seeds of prayer regarding their intending, discussed about their past lives and all. The going was really good.

SOLA'S INNER STRUGGLE.(The reality)

As much as Sola was spirit filled:he lived in a body. He sure was mortifying it everyday. But somedays....this body can be overwhelming.

Abimbola was in no doubt a description of an impeccable beauty inside out: it's just as if God took special time and attention in creating her...her glowing melanin skin was an addition to her beauty, her long dark hair and contagious smile was ( I won't say it kills) it brings life ....she is beautiful.

Each time they were together, Shola admires her and many ati es he just wants her in a warm embrace for as long as ever.....(but it's not for now:he cautioned himself).

Big sis Shola was a decent and cute dresser, not in anyway seductive but her beauty is pronounced: she is actually the one that makes her dresses beautiful and not otherwise. Shola had her times of "burning" but trust him he will jump out of the bed, blast out in tongue, atimes gives himself to fasting....he maintained a right mind frame through it all he didn't defile the bed both physically and also in his mind. The Lord really helped him through.

THE WEDDING.

After six month of thorough spiritual counsel: a date was picked for the wedding...The wedding was moderate, beautiful and successful. It was a model of a wedding for upcoming couples that you can spend moderately and still have a beautiful wedding.

THE WEDDING NIGHT(SPLENDID)

It was a beautiful and cold night, there was a heavy down pour at the ending of the reception party of the wedding, it was heavy but brief...the newly wed resided to a beautiful serene hotel somewhere around the balcony, were wild flowers, White Rose and lilies, the view from the window was beautiful to behold as it was an amazing view of nature... mountains surrounded with green vegetation... the breeze in the environment was so pure.

Shola took sometime in the bathroom , bathing and thanking God from his heart, singing praises....he eventually came out to meet his beautiful bride who had bathed before him ( I wonder why they bathed separately 🤔, shyness I guess🤭) she looked more beautiful in her cream satin night gown. Sola walked up to her and said to her "Chiamaka" God is good indeed, gave a a warm kiss on her forehead: he said also darling I bless God for the day I set my eyes on you, I am feeling complete already.

He carefully planted a gentle kiss on her lips...she let out a shy smile...he tickled her ...she giggled ( why are you smiling , you better go and marry if you are not 😉).

That night was a night to remember : sex is a beautiful gift God gave unto man only to be expressed in the confine of holy matrimony. Shola and his wife Abimbola had a taste of heaven....(I heard the angels 😇 on guard say to themselves :a holy matrimony indeed , no stain on sin, no defilement of any such, hardly do the so called children of God made it to the end this pure..)

WHEN THE REALITY SETS IN.....

Their honeymoon lasted a while, as the couple had both planned their one month leave at the same time after their wedding. They had good time to bond well before resuming work. A few days after resumption, Abimbola started feeling funny, she woke up in the morning only for head to aching seriously , her eyes were so heavy as if she had not slept at during the night, the bitter taste on her tongue nauseated her badly that she ended up throwing up and it seems she was going to vomit out her intestines, while all this drama was going on Sola was quite worried, she managed to get dressed and dropped her off in the hospital cause he running late for work, so he put a call through to his boss to explain the situation of things. 

Abimbola's blood sample was taken for test and Glory!!! she was pregnant. The both of them were filled with joy as they hugged themselves tightly appreciating God for his faithfulness. They eventually departed from the hospital as each of them went their offices .

As time went on, Abimbola became unnecessarily Moody and difficult to predict, she would nag her husband on the slightest issue, burst into tears on very trivial issues, she became easily irritable.

On a fateful day Sola came back from the office only to be welcomed to an unkept house, everywhere was so untidy,the sitting room was how he left it in the morning, the kitchen was filled with plates and pots of the night before, the bathroom had residues of Abimbola's vomit over the toilet bowl, the bed was scattered and Bimbola was still there lying down tiredly.

He moved close to her and said , honey , didn't you go to work today? She replied him saying:I had to request for a sick leave and I gave been granted, Good Sola affirmed to what his wife said. She looked at her husband and said :I know the whole house is in a mess, I had been like this all day, I didn't eat anything but glucose for energy , I ....she jumped out of the Bathroom for another session of throwing up.

Sola sighed: oh ! after a stressful day and long hours inside the traffic ...oh God help me...he followed her and attended to her, cleaned up the mess and quickly cooked up some noodles for himself (🙁he had vowed that noodles had ended with bachelorhood but here is he *wacking* it again).

He retired to bed quite Kate, cuddling his wife in order to make her relax and sleep , ushering prayers for strength and healing into her ears...she could hardly say Amen, he thought to himself ( Abimbola my praying machine hmmm).

That night was quite a long night, with the help of God though he slept tired , Sola woke up very refreshed...he had his morning devotion with his wife on his chest, read the scripture out loud enough to he hearing. He then moved closer and held her up and tried to kiss her but she shrugged and he sighed and said Babe what's up now....she looked up to him and tried to explain she had spit in her mouth.... before she could say "mouth" she already messed up the bed with slimy spit 😖. Ha!!! Sola exclaimed ...is it always this way , he muttered with a little bit of a tone of frustration .

As days passed, Abimbola the hour Glass, started loosing shape to gain the shape that fits her new statusquo . Nose began to double up, lips became more lumpy, skin got darker....all the beauty wasn't as visible as before.

Sola wasn't sure of a decent meal after office hours...he was certain of a friendly atmosphere after the days work.

All this reality had an emotional toll on Sola , but thank God during is waiting period he had equipped himself well enough  with handy information that was definitely needed for his present reality. These knowledge and with help he gets from God on a daily basis was what kept him strong and sane.

SOLA ADAMS

I and Abimbola had hardly bonded before all this started setting in. Fast forward at the hospital.... Congratulations!!! It's a boy...Oh what joy that filled our hearts 💓.

*Omugwo* was another trying time for Sola...all attention was focused on the newborn and this may go on for another nine months if not more. Am Sola and this is my plight. As a result of my experience I advise intending couples or newlyweds:

Marriage is first of all for COMPANIONSHIP, before procreation. There is nothing wrong in getting to know and enjoy each other better before the children starts coming in, 

Make plans

Explore

Love.....Let God lead you and not cultural expectations.

It's not been that easy for me...but just because I have been informed and with the strength of God I'll pull through but yours can be better.

OLAJUMOKE...

Everyone is entitled to his/her own methods...but like Sola , many have owned up to the fact that getting pregnant and having babies immediately after wedding had a great toll on their marriages especially for the men. It still depends on individuals views. Children are beautiful gifts from God no doubts but your spouse his your first gift to you ....Love your spouse dearly, explore together.....and make plans 

Thanks for reading.

Olamiju Olajumoke.